The last few weeks have been difficult, too many
things going on in my life. Trying to keep everything in prospective and
listening to others advice sometimes makes thing more confusing. Lately I have
found myself doing more that I can or should handle, leaving less time for me
and to enjoy the things I like and need to do for myself. I know I often say
that my work for the city or my involvement with the city takes up my time and
it feels like grad-school all over. Unlike
grad-school, though, is that there are no set curriculum or courses in the real
world. This is more of daily lessons and
try to get as much done in one day as possible, multitasking projects, meetings
and public demands can drive me to a state of confusion. I often have to stop and ask myself what am I
doing.
This weekend I spend a few hours (Late nights)
cleaning out the dust and clutter in the garage/workshop. As I was doing this. I kept thinking, if only
it was this easy to clean up the clutter in my life, those things that set me
back. Scale back on what I do for others and learn how to get back my balance.
As I was doing this, in a sense, I have been cleaning out some negativity in my
life. This past month I have refocused my
energy into my love for dancing. Yes, my dancing sisters, Cindy, Liz, Joyce and
I are establishing a new dance group.
Our love and passion for dancing is
something that nobody can understand or take away from us. These last few weeks we have been concentrating
on an invitation we got to open a ceremony with a prayer. Our way to pray is though
dance. We were asked to bless the grounds of a Sun Dance in a secret place this
Tuesday. By doing this, I have been able to cleanse my mind and body a little
bit.
As I move forward with my life, I need to focus on
what is important to me. What makes me happy? Yet, I must continue to follow my
heart and spiritual beliefs, heritage and culture. I must not forget who I am and here I come
from. One thing I do know is that I am not a politician and must not fall into
those types of games politicians play. I
have been criticized for my mannerisms,
for not being aggressive and demanding. Well, that’s just the way I am, (self reserved),
keeping to myself as much as I can. Speaking only when I need to, and
when I do most people either listen or try to make it an argument or
debate. Yet a few other choose not to
listen and demand more from me. Some things are beyond my control and people
need to understand this.
As I was saying, this weekend I have been searching
for answers and as I get ready to refocus my energy in prayer this week, I will
leave some prayers at the sacred grounds, prayers for hope, peace and
understanding. Asking my creator for guidance and help to clear out some of the
clutter in my life and help me get rid of the negative forces that try to enter
into my life and surroundings. Today, as I opened my email I read the
following:
"When you begin a
great work you can't expect to finish it all at once; therefore, you and your
brothers press on and let nothing discourage you until you have entirely
finished what you have begun."
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-- Teedyuschung,
DELAWARE
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“All things have their seasons. All thoughts
are real. We must think to cause action and each action creates results. Big
visions require many thoughts. It takes a series of thoughts to create a
series of actions. A series of actions creates a series of results. These
results are what makes vision become real. If we are here to serve the
Creator then we can expect to be accomplishing big visions. How do we do
this? One step at a time.
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Let me focus on what needs to be done today. Give me clear
thoughts to accomplish the results that you, my Creator, would have me
accomplish.” ---Unknown
I read this and it was just what I needed today, and
I was able to sit down and take some time to write down my thought. I tell myself, it’s time to speak out and make
a few choices others might not understand, but I need to move forward. I will paraphrase
the above statement and use my own thoughts and well, separating thought with parenthesis, only because the statement will
help me in my attempts to make a point,
for those who either criticize or have high expectation from me, as to what I
should be doing as a person and a leading in the community. There is only so
much I can do and people need to learn to do for themselves and start taking
action. Stop criticizing and complaining, get up and do something. When they hit a brick wall, then they will understand where
I come from and why I do what I do. Why I say “it’s out of my control”. But
like others I don’t give up, I simply look for other alternatives and move on.
Right or wrong, it’s my choice, I have to live with that, so thank you all for
your advice, and criticisms because you are making me a stronger person.
As I conclude this I write the following to my critics
and those who demand and have big expectations of me:
(All things take time,
I) “… Big visions require many thoughts. It takes a series of thoughts to
create a series of actions. A series of actions creates a series of results.
These results are what makes vision become real. If (I am) here to serve (my community,
and they)… expect (me to accomplish) …big visions. How do… (I) do this?” (One
day at a time, let me focus on one thing at a time. Give me an opportunity to
think things through, do my research and to find other resources to help me find
answers to accomplish great things. Give the time to accomplish those things
you are asking me to do.) Thank You.
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