Give me an opportunity to think things through!

The last few weeks have been difficult, too many things going on in my life. Trying to keep everything in prospective and listening to others advice sometimes makes thing more confusing. Lately I have found myself doing more that I can or should handle, leaving less time for me and to enjoy the things I like and need to do for myself. I know I often say that my work for the city or my involvement with the city takes up my time and it feels like grad-school all over.  Unlike grad-school, though, is that there are no set curriculum or courses in the real world. This is more of  daily lessons and try to get as much done in one day as possible, multitasking projects, meetings and public demands can drive me to a state of confusion.  I often have to stop and ask myself what am I doing.

This weekend I spend a few hours (Late nights) cleaning out the dust and clutter in the garage/workshop.  As I was doing this. I kept thinking, if only it was this easy to clean up the clutter in my life, those things that set me back. Scale back on what I do for others and learn how to get back my balance. As I was doing this, in a sense, I have been cleaning out some negativity in my life.  This past month I have refocused my energy into my love for dancing. Yes, my dancing sisters, Cindy, Liz, Joyce and I are establishing  a new dance group. Our love and passion  for dancing is something that nobody can understand or take away from us.  These last few weeks we have been concentrating on an invitation we got to open a ceremony with a prayer. Our way to pray is though dance. We were asked to bless the grounds of a Sun Dance in a secret place this Tuesday. By doing this, I have been able to cleanse my mind and body a little bit.  

As I move forward with my life, I need to focus on what is important to me. What makes me happy? Yet, I must continue to follow my heart and spiritual beliefs, heritage and culture.  I must not forget who I am and here I come from. One thing I do know is that I am not a politician and must not fall into those types of games politicians play.  I have been criticized for  my mannerisms, for not being aggressive and demanding. Well, that’s just the way I am, (self reserved), keeping to myself as much as I can. Speaking only when I need to,   and when I do most people either listen or try to make it an argument or debate.  Yet a few other choose not to listen and demand more from me. Some things are beyond my control and people need to understand this.

As I was saying, this weekend I have been searching for answers and as I get ready to refocus my energy in prayer this week, I will leave some prayers at the sacred grounds, prayers for hope, peace and understanding. Asking my creator for guidance and help to clear out some of the clutter in my life and help me get rid of the negative forces that try to enter into my life and surroundings. Today, as I opened my email I read the following:  

"When you begin a great work you can't expect to finish it all at once; therefore, you and your brothers press on and let nothing discourage you until you have entirely finished what you have begun."

-- Teedyuschung, DELAWARE

“All things have their seasons. All thoughts are real. We must think to cause action and each action creates results. Big visions require many thoughts. It takes a series of thoughts to create a series of actions. A series of actions creates a series of results. These results are what makes vision become real. If we are here to serve the Creator then we can expect to be accomplishing big visions. How do we do this? One step at a time.

Let me focus on what needs to be done today. Give me clear thoughts to accomplish the results that you, my Creator, would have me accomplish.” ---Unknown

I read this and it was just what I needed today, and I was able to sit down and take some time to write down my thought.  I tell myself, it’s time to speak out and make a few choices others might not understand, but I need to move forward. I will paraphrase the above statement and use my own thoughts and well, separating thought with  parenthesis, only because the statement will help me in my attempts to  make a point, for those who either criticize or have high expectation from me, as to what I should be doing as a person and a leading in the community. There is only so much I can do and people need to learn to do for themselves and start taking action. Stop criticizing and complaining, get up and do something.  When they hit a brick wall, then they will understand where I come from and why I do what I do. Why I say “it’s out of my control”. But like others I don’t give up, I simply look for other alternatives and move on. Right or wrong, it’s my choice, I have to live with that, so thank you all for your advice, and criticisms because you are making me a stronger person.

As I conclude this I write the following to my critics and those who demand and have big expectations of me:

(All things take time, I) “… Big visions require many thoughts. It takes a series of thoughts to create a series of actions. A series of actions creates a series of results. These results are what makes vision become real. If (I am) here to serve (my community, and they)… expect (me to accomplish) …big visions. How do… (I) do this?” (One day at a time, let me focus on one thing at a time. Give me an opportunity to think things through, do my research and to find other resources to help me find answers to accomplish great things. Give the time to accomplish those things you are asking me to do.) Thank You.